She was the Drill Sargent on my shoulder. I had to beat her down because she was getting on my last nerve. She was Miss Goody Two Shoes always being “nice”. Saying yes when she knew damn good and well she wanted to say no!!! Can you believe she was afraid to rock the boat because she didn’t want to piss any one off? God forbid she was faced with a confrontation, confrontations are for reality shows. “I don’t argue it’s dysfunctional”. Some of her other beliefs were:
- Good girls don’t get out of line
- Good girls don’t sleep around
- Good girls are quiet and bite their tongue when they really want to speak up
- Good girls dress a certain way, you know what I mean “classy”…….just a little boob, not too much butt, just a little leg showing (hmmm @ least that’s what her mom told her
- Good girls don’t curse, smoke, drink………wait a minute mom did all those things so why was she telling the good girl not to?
Yes, the “good girl” was me. My good girl world came tumbling down when my marriage of 19 years fell apart (stay tuned for that story in another blog post). I was so angry, with myself, that I had ignored my true self, the person I was created to be. I was resentful. I couldn’t really relax and just have fun because there were too many rules to follow. My divorce was the slap down I needed to show me that I could let the “good girl” go.
If you suffer from the “good girl syndrome” here are some side effects of kicking her to the curb too…
- You will feel more energized. Carrying her around is exhausting
- The silent anger and resentment you feel will surface and then soften
- Your health will improve. Listening to her day in and day out is painful physically and mentally
- You will free yourself to live with passion, purpose and joy. You can’t be your true self, the person you were created to be, with her in your head
- Better sex life (let the bad girl peek out)
- More authentic relationships with friends and family